So I keep thinking about this blog, and not knowing what I should write. One thing I hate about medication is it removes so many "thoughts and feelings". What I mean by that is not that I am a zombie. I mean that there are just less of everything. It sometimes frustrates me because when I need them or want them, they are just simply not there. Like when I want to console someone, sometimes I seem to lack emotion. It's frustrating to me right now, because I feel like there is nothing to write about. When only 2 or 3 weeks ago I could have written about the air and came up with enormous emotions and feelings regarding the air.
So I thought why not write about my inability to think of anything to write about. Huh. Talk about a way to kick writers block I guess. Thats deffiantly one way to do it.
I want to emphasize that this particular medication does not make me feel like I am walking around in a zombie fog. In fact I feel very well, and happy right now. I just don't feel a ton of emotion I guess. Right now my brain is in the train of filing, organizing, cleaning, and doing things. Not feeling things. Partly this is good. Productive, but I just feel a little bit not like myself. Perhaps this is what they call mania? I have been having trouble sleeping. I did re-organize my entire office, and I have been extraordinary productive. Well, I guess that is something to think about. I'll keep that in mind.
So besides me feeling thoughtless, lately, my meals have been really bad. They kind of remind me of slop. HA! So tonight I put extra effort into making something tasty with what I had in the house. It turned out nice. Chicken, mashed potato's, gravy and some veggies. Pat on the back for a job well done.
Well I'm off for now. Just wanted to let you know what was going on inside my little head. - A whole lotta nothin!
Have a blessed weekend guys!
I get that way sometimes...like I don't have any feelings...and it's usually when I am "stable"...when I'm depressed or hypomanic my feelings are really intense. Sometimes I wonder if there actually are feelings there, but when "stable" I don't feel them so intensely so it seems like they aren't there at all. If that makes sense LOL. Glad you've been able to write...and great job getting organized!
ReplyDeleteYa, I think I know what you mean. I guess that is what they might call "stable". It's still just frustrating even as stable as it may be.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your support. Btw, I hope you are feeling better lately.
-Mel