The better I feel, the less I write

I don't know why this is, but when my meds are working and I feel good, I write less. I think less. I feel like I am not in my head as much, and I spend more time doing, instead of just thinking. I think it's healthier. I think it makes me happier when I can actually accomplish things instead of circling them around in my brain. It seems they get caught up somewhere in there and never make it out to real life. I sometimes hold on to things and just can't seem to let them go. They just recycle emotions which makes me unhappy and unhealthy.

Anyways, this weeks homework is to let go of the past that causes me upset. I don't know exactly how to do it, but when ever I find myself thinking about the past memories that are painful I am going to push them out and away. Also, I am working on letting go of things that are frustrating today. Little things that are petty, that bother me so much. This is difficult as well.

Part of this has been marinating in my soul for a while also. I have been pondering when I should get baptized again. I want to, but I was unsure of it. I decided this week that it was time. It is time to let go and forgive the past. Move forward and start a new era. And era with Christ in my life and joy that overflows out of myself and onto other people. And even though there will be tough times, I will always remember that God loves me and is with me through it all. His hand print is on everything I do.

I have been doing so well that I also decided to volunteer at a horse rescue. I needed to do something that makes me happy and fills my days with something that allows me to find myself again. I believe this will be such good therapy for me. May1st is the volunteer orientation.

I am sorry I haven't been writing much lately, but I thought I should at least let you know where I was at in my world.