Kitchen Scratchatory

To this day, I can't seem to say Chicken Catchatori. You know the recipe, with tomato sauce, deliciously seasoned with herbs and over a bed of rice perhaps? Anyways, I find it oddly funny that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to say it, it always comes out Kitchen and what ever happens to come out and be mangled after that.

So today, I am making Kitchen Scratchatory. We opened a bottle of Zin from a winery down the road and I have Billi Holiday playing  in the background. Awesome! I can't think of a better way to wind down and let everything all go.

I feel like this part of my life is called, "Starting Over". It fits so well because I am emotionally taking down those mental boxes I've packed away and I am finally going through them. Granted it will take me a long time to finish, but I am pleased to be making progress. Also, physically in my backyard we took out all the old dirt in my planter/garden retaining wall which consisted of mainly shale and clay and finally replacing it with beautiful home made compost from a friend with a farm. It is this beautiful dark brown almost black in color. It will sit for another month in and a half and settle and finish doing what it needs to do. Then the heirloom tomatos will be planted.

I can not express enough my love for homegrown heirloom tomatos. They are heaven!

Anyways, today I feel great. I feel like my meds are working wonderfully and finally I can feel the effects. I also have been working physically to exert myself and burn off some of that wasted energy. That in itself makes me feel better. I just want to be consistent in that area. On top of it all, I feel like I have a better understanding of myself. I feel like the past year has really taught me a lot about who I am, and what I am capable off. The self control that I have is immense, despite the fact that I feel like I might blow like a volcano, I never do. Simple as that, though my body is flipping out inside at times, I seem to keep myself from going over the edge of sanity. Keep in mind I might be very upset I just seems to have a slight grip on reality that keeps me grounded and coming back to earth. I guess I feel empowered to know what I am capable of. Though I am not capable of some things, I am capable of some. I do have some talents and abilities. I hope that they can grow.

So....I feel great. Doing great today and hoping this new sense of empowerment sticks around.